Tips for Navigating the Holidays Single

While the Holidays are exciting and special, they can be hard when you are single. Traditions, party invites and everything else seem to all revolve around having someone to share them with. As someone that has spent the last four Holiday seasons single and many many more before that, I have let being single ruin the Holiday season for me a few times. I’ve slowly gotten better and have been able to get back to this season being fun and celebratory (at least most of the time). In this post I am sharing a few tips that help me on navigating the holidays single.

Tips for Navigating the Holidays Single

Give Yourself Permission to Feel

The first thing is to let yourself feel! Being single at any time can be hard and lonely but the Holidays can really exaggerate the feelings. Take a moment and try to figure out exactly what you are feeling and let it out! You have permission to feel all the feelings. If you know me at all, you know just writing this tip shows how much I’ve learned. This is still one of the hardest things for me to do, as I naturally push down any strong emotions. So I suggest this tip not as an expert, but as someone constantly working on doing this knowing it helps!

Since you are now feeling all the feelings, find someone to talk to about them. A safe place to vent, cry, be sad, lonely etc. is so important! (Let it be known that this is also something I am constantly working on.) It will help you work thru the emotions and when talking to someone else you won’t feel so lonely. If you are also talking with someone else that is single, they’ll also understand what you are feeling.

I’ve posted a few times about anxiety and how it plays a role in my life (read here and here). Stressing about being single during this time of year has definitely triggered my anxiety. It can be especially bad if I try to push down or hide my feelings. When I actively work thru my feelings, my level of anxiety is in a much better place. But I understand it takes a lot of work!

Create Boundaries

This time of year is full of all types of parties, get togethers and happy hours. Whether its with friends, work or family there seems to be a lot going on and it is easy to have a very full calendar. It is important to know what/ how much you can handle. If going to party after party that is all couples is hard, limit yourself or bring a friend! As an introvert, going to events by myself can be a bit stressful. It is ok to not make it to every party and it is also ok to not stay the whole time. Find the right balance for yourself.

I understand that some parties and get togethers aren’t optional. Work parties and some family evens cane be hard to decline. Work around these events to make sure you are ready for them and can have a good time. Also, find a work friend or family member that you can talk to and share with them that this time of year is hard or if you feel lonely.

Plan Time with Your Close Friends

Whether it’s drinks with your friends, a girls’ dinner or just some quality time with the people close to you, get something on your calendar that you love to do! Most of the time this means that you will have to plan this yourself. Think about what you really love doing. Do you love to dress up and have a fancy cocktail? Need a night in with a Christmas movie and glass of wine? Do you love hosting a big party? Whatever it is, plan it now! Having something on your calendar that you are looking forward to will help when you are having a lonely moment or a hard time.

Start Your Own Tradition

Society tells us that many of the customary Holiday or Christmas traditions are something you do with your significant other or when have a family. What does it have to be this way? There is no reason to wait on any holiday activity! Don’t be afraid to cook favorite foods or do whatever activities make you happy during this time. It can even be fun to do them alone or bring in your friends to share in your favorite traditions.

You can also start your own new tradition! Try something new that you’ve always wanted to incorporate into this time. This is a time that you can be selfish and do something you’ve always wanted to do! This new tradition will be something you then look forward to each year whether you are single or not.

Prepare Yourself for the “Are you dating anyone” Questions

For most of us, it is inevitable that at least one person will ask you about your relationship status. It is hard enough navigating the holidays single without all the questions. Let’s be honest, sometimes it is a well intentioned question and sometimes it is not. Thinking about how you want to handle this situation before you actually have to deal with it helps you have a response ready. Remember that you don’t owe anyone an “explanation” on why you are single. If it is a nosy family member, maybe tell them that you don’t want to talk about your relationship status but would love to chat about your job or upcoming trip etc. If it is someone you are comfortable with share as much as you want, it may be nice to share how hard this time of year is.

Do Something for Yourself

You can wrap up this whole post with one phrase: take care of yourself. All these suggestions get you in the mindset to put your wellbeing first. I am at my best when I’m not too busy, so I try make sure to have some time at home each week. Could you use the Holidays as a time to travel? If not, maybe plan a trip for right after the holidays so you have something to look forward to. Find what helps you and work it into this season.

You can also buy yourself a Christmas gift! Use the money you would have spent on a present on a significant other and treat yourself!

This post was originally published on December 2, 2021 but has been updated.